These are troubled times. All one has to do is turn on the news, and this is quickly confirmed. As a former beauty queen, I am duly-appointed to seek World Peace as a lifelong pursuit. It ranks right up there with not wearing the same outfit twice in public and being careful to avoid taking completely naked photos. So it occurred to me—why not combine my passions and somehow, utilize fashion as a call for peace?
Enter Pajama Jeans. I was more than curious about this comfy couture. On numerous occasions, I heard the late night ads blaring in the background as I worked like a Jamaican with 20 jobs and no semblance of a life. And then, like some sort of subliminal stalker, the ads began to appear across my Facebook feed. I felt powerless against the suggestion and submitted to this tempting trouser. Yes, I have drank the Kool Aid—and it is good! I am, in fact, so enamored of the stretchy fake-ass denim fabric with the soft, womb-like brushed lining (one could bake bread in there due to the “toastiness”), that I have ordered a second pair in black. And just as soon as they arrive, I will take off the indigo pair and launder them.
Before you judge, you would have to understand my lifestyle. I work around 80 hours a week and rarely leave the house during daylight hours. So much so, that bright sunlight hurts my eyes and my skin is void of pigment. I am basically, either a vampire or an albino mole.
When I do happen to venture out for some retail therapy and liquor, I would always find myself pillaging through racks of “loungewear”…keeping in mind that the selected garment must look like ACTUAL clothes…for those times I must greet the rude people that drop by the house unannounced or the UPS guy—who is without a doubt convinced I have knocked over the “softer side of Sears”.
Now, with the introduction of Pajama Jeans, my life as I know it is forever altered—and I don’t mind saying, for the better. It’s like being clothed in a layer of Prozac Pajamas—with a faux fly. Yep, I be happy!
So it occurred to me—what if the governments of the world enacted a program that dispensed Pajama Jeans to the masses? Could some simple slacks possibly be the savior of serenity? I can see it now…”Pants for Peace”. The Peace symbol would be rapidly replaced with a circle with spread-eagle pants inside. Celebrities would band together to jam in their jammies to the anthem “Give Pants a Chance” to promote the cause.
And, as I’m in favor of a person’s right to choose and free will…it would be left up to the individual whether they sport the straightleg, skinny or bootcut variety. And as Pajama Jeans are available in a virtual rainbow of colors, there is something for every race or taste. Let not cut nor color divide us, however…
All pants matter…