“My Dog Was ‘Gang-Sniffed’ in Downtown Mesa”

Had a great time with my Mother the Parrot (for those readers that have joined in the reindeer games late at “Krava by Kiki”…I call her that for her amazing ability to imitate my Tom tom’s GPS commands and then over-rule them) and new pup “Hendrix” (rocker chick that I am) the Wonder Hound at the Second Friday “Dog Daze” gathering in beautiful downtown Mesa. Mesa Encore Theatre (I am their Public Relations Goddess) participates in this “Art Walk” every month, right down the street from the Mesa Arts Center.

Mom was in rare form…even I raised a well-cultivated eye brow when Mom announced that she was once a stripper and knew how to “work” some tassles…although since she’s had breast cancer, only one (1) tassel can make a full rotation. I now believe Mom carries a flask.

The gang had a wonderful set-up and a very impressive display indeed. However, I do take issue with the “camp-style” folding chairs. They give new meaning to “How LOW can you go”. Let’s just say, these engineering monstrosities are made of canvas and one’s “dupa” droops to the point of needing a spinal realignment. It felt rather “diaper-like” but at least it was made of a breathable fabric. Thus, I avoided that whole turning to my mother and saying “Mom, sometimes I have that ‘not-so-fresh’ feeling”–although I’ve always secretly hoped that at some juncture, my own spawn (daughter) would someday ask ME to twirl in a field of daisies sporting white gauze dresses and holding fluffy albino kittens. But I digress…

Anyhoo, we were also flanked by Wendy (Stage Manager for “Noises Off”) who runs this shin dig and her daughter/songstress Sarah (who dazzled us with some rousing Dixie Chicks at the Karaoke station). Also making the scene, were Becky (looking VERY Presidential) our Board of “Deflectors” Prez, and the dynamic duo of Jeff and Debra Jo. You didn’t hear this from me, but there is a rumor goin’ round that they are sleeping together–even though they are married…Shocking! You can betcha, we be “stylin’ and profilin” with our proud and pompous pooches. We KNEW we looked good!

However, my beloved Hendrix was feeling a bit defiled as he was “gang-sniffed” by several dogs. So he took refuge in “Grandma’s” loving arms. IF he could talk, he’d be reporting this violation to the appropriate authorities, fer shizzle. But, after much family discussion, we KNEW the whole “airing of dirty doggie laundry” that would ensue in the press (Jody Arias reference–for I am ALL about following current events in the news). Besides…why put the poked and probed pup through all that? And there WAS that scene I walked in on the other day, featuring Hendrix and a pillow and some questionable activity. No one wants to see that sh@t played out in the media and we are a proud family.

So there you have it…Kiki does downtown Mesa (not to be confused with “Debbie does Dallas”…that is something ENTIRELY different!051013184314

~Here is Hendrix cowering after the unfortunate gang-sniffing incident.

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