“Never Beg Them to Stay…Instead, Hold Them Against Their Will…They Will Learn to Love You”

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It has been said, when it comes to ending a love affair, that “if you let it go and it is meant to be, it will return someday” and other crap by Mariah Carey <insert a juicy butterfly here>. Hell, no butterfly I’VE ever released EVER drifted back to me…unless I tore the wings off and tossed it into the air and it landed at my feet with a delicate thud.

I ran across this pearl of wisdom today on Facebook and it got me to thinking about life, relationships, and the pain of breaking up (I’ve heard it’s hard to do). And I say…

WHY beg? A properly utilized set of handcuffs can keep them around for a very long time. In fact, not long after I meet “Mr. Wonderful”, I begin to prepare the underground Bunker (my little insurance policy…I’m a planner). Of course, without a doubt, there WILL be some jail time for you–and THAT sucks. But eventually, you will be free to “revisit” the object of your affection for some serious “make-up sex”…also probably against their will. Isn’t love grande? Sigh….

Of course, I’m with an absolutely fabulous man now and he HAS stolen my heart…but make no mistake…I have ten more JUST LIKE IT at home in my freezer–just in case.

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