“Sometimes, the Best Things In Life Are Free…Just Like the Clinic in My Old ‘Hood”

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I guess you can draw a correlation between anything if you think about it…random thoughts, and I believe, bursts of brilliance from my warped but well-meaning brain…
You may have a hard head, but it could be that way because you are wearing a motorcycle helmet. Take that stupid thing off (except when actually in operation of a bike)…you don’t look tough or cool and it causes serious “hat head”.

And sometimes, happiness seems out of our reach, but so are the “stars” but if you stalk them in an effort to get timely pics of their newborn children, you will go to jail, unless you are the paparazzi…then they are fair game and it’s ok.

And never forget that although putting one foot in front of the other sometimes seems a difficult task, you can always switch to a cute “kitten” heel and your balance will be better. Nevertheless…there will be times you still make an ass out of yourself no matter how many preventative measures are in place. You will look totally stupid and like a spazz at the most inopportune time…like when you are really trying hard to look all elegant and shit and next thing you know, you are splattered on the ground…legs in the air like a water beetle in distress–never a good look for me. But in the right setting, you can meet new people this way that think you are pretty awesome.

And then, there is always that standard bit of advice imparted on me by my maternal unit, my mother the parrot…”always wear attractive matching undergarments in case you get hit by a car”. This has served me well, but starts my day off a little stressful with a vision of the carnage that will probably ensue. Sometimes advice is golden or it’s just a big old goose egg that haunts you and causes you to need pharmaceuticals.

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